Moonbase Alpha

  1. Video

    We’re geniuses, clearly.

  2. Chat

    Texts From Sick Paul

    Paul: PAUL IS DEAD. NOW THERE IS ONLY SNOTZILLA, A BEING OF PURE MUCUS!
    Graham: Sorry you're still feeling rough. But at the same time, happy to have you on board, Snotzilla. I think you'll fit in well.
    Paul: I WILL DROWN THE WORLD IN MUCUS!!
    Graham: Good, good. And how are you at CSS?
    Paul: ONCE EVERYTHING IS MUCUS, THERE WILL NO NEED FOR CSS!! I ALSO ONCE MADE A WEBSITE FOR MY AUNT IN iWEB!!
    Graham: Okay great I think we can work with that. Well, I look forward to working together.
    Paul: I LOOK FORWARD TO ADDING YOUR BIOMASS TO MY OWN BY CONVERTING YOUR BODY TO SNOT AND PHLEGM!!
    Graham: Super.

    Tagged: text,
  3. Chat

    Cat Time

    Graham: I don't mind you playing with Baxter in bed while I'm still sleeping, but do try to avoid my crotch.
    Kathleen: I admit he came close today—
    Graham: He did.
    Kathleen: But I don't think I've ever steered him into leaping on your balls.
    Graham: You absolutely have, once.
    Kathleen: Huh. Well, I guess you'd remember.
  4. Text

    Adventures in Text

    –You enter the kitchen. There is an oven.
    > Open oven
    –You cannot open the oven.
    > Push oven
    –You cannot push the oven.
    > Pull oven
    –You cannot pull the oven.

    > Pick up oven
    –You pick up the oven.
    –Your inventory now contains: Oven.
    –You are over-encumbered.

    > Put down oven
    –You cannot put down the oven.


    Tagged: text adventure,
  5. Chat

    Scripting with a Sleeping Person

    Kathleen: zzzzzz
    Graham: Did you fall asleep?
    Kathleen: ...
    Graham: ...okay.
    Kathleen: Did I tell you my idea or did I just think it?
    Graham: What?
    Kathleen: ...
    Graham: Well, what was your idea?
    Kathleen: Mrph.
    Graham: WHAT... was your IDEA?
    Kathleen: Mmmph. No.
  6. Photo Originally by magicaltimes magicaltimes:

I’m not wasting $11.

I didn’t much care for it either.

    magicaltimes:

    I’m not wasting $11.

    I didn’t much care for it either.

  7. Question Asked by jimrabbit
    jimrabbit:
    “Dear Graham, How do you type with boxing gloves on your hands?”

    BALEETED!!

  8. Chat

    Tweak the Twerk

    Kate: I'm going to be late to CheckPoint, I'm still tweaking this footage.
    Graham: I totally read that as "twerking" the footage.
    Kate: I still don't know what twerking is.
    Graham: I believe it's urban butt-dancing.
    Kate: Oh, I'm doing that too.
    Graham: Good, now get back to twerk.

    Tagged: text,
  9. Chat

    Pika Planks

    Graham: Have you planked before?
    Pika: Yes!
    Graham: Have you planked on top of someone before?
    Pika: I have.
    Graham: Have you planked on top of TWO people before?
    Pika: ...Let's do this!
    Graham: That's the spirit.
    Pika: Should I get on before or after they plank?
    Morgan: Wait, you've planked on top of someone else BEFORE?
    Pika: I've lead a life.

    Tagged: desertbus,
  10. Chat

    Treasure Tables

    Jer: Let me work out the math here...
    Paul: "The DM takes 1d6 math damage."
    Kathleen: "He is demoralized until the end of the next turn."
    Jer: I AM demoralized by treasure tables.

    Tagged: d&d,
  11. Chat

    Su-Monster

    Jer: A human-sized primate thing descends from the rafters.
    Kathleen: Does it look like an orangutang?
    Jess: OranguTAN. There's only one "G" in orangutan.
    Cam: Yes. Oranutang.
    Jess: ...
    Cam: Goranutan?

    Tagged: d&d,
  12. Chat

    Loot the Room

    Jer: ...also in this room are four coils of rope, three large pouches, six small pouches, 52 iron spikes—
    Paul: Wait, we counted the spikes?
    Jer: Little did you know you were entering The Temple of Elemental Lists!

    Tagged: D&D,
  13. Text

    Three Phrases

    My grandfather once told me three phrases—concocted by he and his brother while in the army—that they figured everyone should know in as many languages as possible:

    • Take off all of your clothes.
    • My friend will pay.
    • What time does your husband get home?

    Tagged: badass grandad,
  14. Chat

    Hurray for Customs!

    Agent: So, you go to Seattle a lot?
    Graham: Yeah, I've got a bunch of friends there.
    Agent: When we're you there last?
    Graham: I honestly can't remember.
    Agent: Really. You can't remember two weeks ago.
    Graham: What?
    Agent: You caught a flight from Seattle to Burbank.
    Graham: That was a 90-minute layover!
    Agent: And prior to that you were in Newark?
    Graham: Also a layover, coming home from a convention in Boston.
    Agent: Okay. And you always take your camera with you?
    Graham: Yes.
    Agent: So how I do I know you're not doing illegal work down there?
    Graham: How do I prove I'm not?
    Agent: Take a seat over there.
  15. Chat

    "Consistent" is not "Good"

    Tourist 1: The lineup at Starbucks was too long.
    Tourist 2: Well did you try that Tim Horton’s place? They got good coffee.
    Tourist 1: Oh yeah, they’re known for it!
    Graham's Thoughts: ((No, they're known for HAVING coffee, not for it being GOOD. It is inoffensive and reliable, but not good.))
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